Passion and Detachment

When it comes to finding myself a life partner, things just seem so challenging and I cannot understand why. I consulted my best friend of more than 20 years, he agrees that nothing is wrong with me. Worst of all, there are many people think and say that I am picky. Perhaps they are right. If there are many people who say so, they must be right. Nevertheless, is the majority always right? Can I as a beggar be a chooser?

I was a slave of passion and kept falling for the girls I shouldn’t fall for. It was so difficult to forget one of them that without me realizing, my heart became hard as a stone to kill the feelings I had for her. That was the hefty price I paid to in order to be obedient.

To cut a long story short, it took me almost long eight years to realize that I was a man without emotions. Thanks to the book Emotional Intelligence by David Goleman, I began to learn about emotions. The so called “negative” emotions are important for our survival and I should not suppress and disregard them. In contrary, I should recognize these emotions, reflect upon why I feel them and take actions to diffuse such emotions.

Having said so, I still stumble when it comes to finding a partner and I still don’t know why. Anyway, I have decided to be detached and turn my face unto God. To be detach does not imply in any way to have nothing. Abdu’l-Baha said, “Detachment is the non-existent of desire in the heart, not in the lack of material things.”

“O Son of Utterance! Turn thy face unto mine and renounce all save Me; for My sovereignty endureth and My dominion perisheth not. If thou seekest another than Me, yea, if thou searchest the universe for evermore, thy quest will be in vain”