Meatball Soup and Two Eggs

After cooking for more than 6 months now, my cooking skills remain at a standstill. Somehow, whenever I boil soup, it will be meatball, carrot and tomato soup added with dried scallops. I guess convenience triumphs over trying new recipes.

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

I have just recently finished reading this classic. Though first published in 1937, the principles still apply today. There are 4 Parts: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People, Six Ways to Make People Like You, How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking and Be A Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offence or Arousing Resentment.

In Part 1, Carnegie shared 3 main principles. Principle 1 says, “Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain.” This reminds me of the saying, “If I don’t have anything good to say, I better shut up.” Speak no evil, that thou mayest not hear it spoken unto thee, and magnify not the faults of others that thine faults may not appear great.

Principle 2 says, “Give honest, sincere appreciation.” A kindly tongue is the lodestone of the hearts of men. It is the bread of the spirit, it clotheth the words with meaning, it is the fountain of the light of wisdom and understanding.

Principle 3 states, “Arouse in the other person an eager want.” I think this is one of the most challenging thing to do. Whoever can do this will be a person with great influence.

In part 2, the Six Ways to Make People Like You is to

1.       Become genuinely interested in other people.
2.       Smile.
3.       Remember other people’s name.
4.       Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5.       Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6.       Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

These 6 ways seem so common that we would expect ourselves and others to do every day. Do we really practice these?

Part 3, How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, has 12 principles.

1.       The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. (How true is this!)
2.       Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
3.       If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4.       Begin in a friendly way.
5.       Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately. (Every salesperson know how important is this)
6.       Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7.       Let the other person fee that the idea is his or her. People are more committed with ownership.
8.       Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of clearly. (I think we need to be careful not to assume we know what the other person is thinking)
9.       Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. (I get really impatient when it involves my love ones)
10.   Appeal to the nobler motives.
11.   Dramatize your ideas. (Exaggeration sells)
12.   Throw down a challenge.

The final part is regarding Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. Carnegie shared 9 principles:

1.       Begin with praise and honest appreciation. (Toastmasters use this all the time and I think it is very effective)
2.       Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly. (Talking about being tactful and sensitive. I must master this)
3.       Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. (Perhaps its better not to criticize at all?)
4.       Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. Make suggestions. E.g. Do you think we should…
5.       Let the other person save face.
6.       Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” (Good leaders usually have this quality)
7.       Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. (This is how we encourage and grow individuals)
8.       Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9.       Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. Confucius said, “A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.

2013 Review

Looking back at my 2013 Resolution, let's see what I have gained or missed.

1. Physical exercise - I have completely missed this goal. I need more motivation to exercise...
2. Financial - My financial goal proved to be unrealistic but as the saying goes, "Shoot for the moon, if you miss, you'll land among the stars." I'm happy and grateful with my financial performance this year. :)
3. Reading - I'm on track to finish reading 6 books. Q2 was spent on studying for exams and I consider myself hitting this goal. :)
4. Social activities - Q4 was filled with many activities and allowed me to achieve this goal. :)
5. Spiritual - I have exceed my goal this year and now have the habit to pray and meditate this year. :)
6. Public speaking - This should be Toastmaster goal. Also, managed to achieve my goal to be a competent communicator last week. :)
7. Travelling - I had 6 travelling opportunities including 2 international ones to Thailand and Singapore. I was only aiming to travel once every quarter. :)
8. Soul Mate - Still groping in the dark. I shall put in more effort next year!
9. Learn a new skill - I learned none. Need a little pushing here.
10. Writing - I actually struggled to write 3 blog entries a month. Gotta put more effort here too!

Out of the 10 various goals I set for myself, I have hit 6 of them with outstanding achievement for the spiritual and travelling goals. 2 were complete missed and another 2 were making progress.

Overall, I consider myself hitting 70% of my 2013 Resolution. I can be proud of this achievement! :D

Competent Communicator

It has been more than 4 years since I joined Toastmasters. Two days ago, I finally completed my 10^th Toastmaster speech and awarded Competent Communicator. Above that, I won my first Best Speaker.

It was indeed a moment to remember. Much thanks are to be given to Yoong Hean, Ying Ying and Wai Hong for their evaluations and support.

November rain comes late

It has been raining since sunrise this morning and is still raining past midnight. Such a rare occurrence. I can't help feeling cold and lonely. Suddenly, I keep thinking of the song November Rain.

*Disclaimer: I appreciate that this is one of the best song ever composed but in no way supporting the smoking and drinking depicted in the music video. Such a lifestyle is foolish and leads only to more pain in life.

Passion and Detachment

When it comes to finding myself a life partner, things just seem so challenging and I cannot understand why. I consulted my best friend of more than 20 years, he agrees that nothing is wrong with me. Worst of all, there are many people think and say that I am picky. Perhaps they are right. If there are many people who say so, they must be right. Nevertheless, is the majority always right? Can I as a beggar be a chooser?

I was a slave of passion and kept falling for the girls I shouldn’t fall for. It was so difficult to forget one of them that without me realizing, my heart became hard as a stone to kill the feelings I had for her. That was the hefty price I paid to in order to be obedient.

To cut a long story short, it took me almost long eight years to realize that I was a man without emotions. Thanks to the book Emotional Intelligence by David Goleman, I began to learn about emotions. The so called “negative” emotions are important for our survival and I should not suppress and disregard them. In contrary, I should recognize these emotions, reflect upon why I feel them and take actions to diffuse such emotions.

Having said so, I still stumble when it comes to finding a partner and I still don’t know why. Anyway, I have decided to be detached and turn my face unto God. To be detach does not imply in any way to have nothing. Abdu’l-Baha said, “Detachment is the non-existent of desire in the heart, not in the lack of material things.”

“O Son of Utterance! Turn thy face unto mine and renounce all save Me; for My sovereignty endureth and My dominion perisheth not. If thou seekest another than Me, yea, if thou searchest the universe for evermore, thy quest will be in vain”

Catchy November

For some unfathomable reasons, this November had been a month of catching up with friends I hardly get to see.

From good old buddies from childhood, one who came back for holidays from the US and another from Down Under, to friends from college, who was back from the UK, university, who stayed nearby but hardly meet (and also one who is back from UK), and previous employment, a maiden alumni gathering thrown by Maxis Berhad. I was told that the HR intended to organize such alumni gatherings annually. I look forward for it.

We shared our stories, we laughed and though much have changed, the bond of friendships remained. The characters of each and every of them remain the same. Such blessings have I got that all of them had brought joy and made a difference in my life. I wish them all the best and may they continue to progress further and higher in their future undertakings.

Confirmation

The word confirmation has now greatly influence my life. When my efforts produce the result I desire, it is confirmation. When my efforts do not produce the result I desire, it is also confirmation. It is confirmation that I have put in the wrong efforts, having the wrong the desire or simply the wrong timing.

Having confirmation does not imply that life is going to be a bed of roses. Sometimes, we try so hard and yet we still do not succeed. Sometimes, our efforts seem to be completely futile. However, confirmation may happen in the least expected manner. For example, Alexander Fleming was focused on the search for a "wonder drug" and by chance he discovered the penicillin.

I have not fully grasped the concept of confirmation but I do know that if we put total trust and complete submission to God, He will confirm us.

Dynamics of Prayer for Solving Problems

1. Pray and meditate about it. Use the prayers of the Manifestations as they have the greatest power. Then remain in the silence of contemplation for a few minutes.
2. Arrive at a decision and hold this. This decision is usually born during contemplation. It may seem almost impossible of accomplishment but if it seems to be as answer to a prayer or a way of solving the problem, then immediately take the next step.
3. Have determination to carry the decision through. Many fail here. The decision, budding into determination, is blighted and instead becomes a wish or a vague longing. When determination is born, immediately take the next step.
4. Have faith and confidence that the power will flow through you, the right way will appear, the door will open, the right thought, the right message, the right principle, or the right book will be given you. Have confidence and the right thing will come to your need. Then as you rise from prayer, take at once the 5th step.
5. Act as though it had all been answered. then act with tireless, ceaseless energy. And as you act, you, yourself, will become a magnet, which will attract more power to your being, until you become an unobstructed channel for the Divine power to flow through you.

---

Many pray but do not remain for the last half of the first step. Some who meditate arrive at a decision, but fail to hold it. Few have the determination to carry the decision through, still fewer have the confidence that the right thing will come to their need. But how many remember to act as though it had all been answered? How true are these words "Greater than the prayer is the spirit in which it is uttered" and greater than the way it is uttered is the spirit in which it is carried out.

Shoghi Effendi (Pilgrim note)

Cleansing the Mirror of the Heart from Jealousy and Envy

The other day, I was discussing a statement on jealousy and envy with my Junior Youth Group.

Cleansing the mirror of the heart from jealousy and envy.

I asked why do we feel jealous? One answered because others have what that we don’t have. Another answered because we think that what other people have is better than what we have.

About.com explains that the three common causes for jealousy are

1. Unmet expectations
2. A sense of entitlement
3. Insecurity

While the ways to overcome jealousy includes:

• Stop comparing yourself to other people
• Stop worrying about you all the time
• Stop wanting what other people have if you’re  not willing to go through what they did to get it
• Start focusing on all that’s positive in your life

Then I asked, “So how do we cleanse the mirror of our hearts from jealousy and envy?” We had a short discussion and came out with a brief conclusion.

                We should be grateful with all that we have. Every individual has their own strengths and weaknesses. Others may have something that we don’t have but we also have something that others don’t. If we are truly grateful and thankful for who we are and what we have, we would have cleansed the mirror of our hearts from jealousy and envy.

Sleepless night

One of the worst things that can happen to me is to be unable to sleep at night. Usually, I cannot sleep because I'm stressed, sad or bored. At the moment, I'm feeling a mixture of sad and bored...getting a bit stressed considering I need to work 9-6 tomorrow.

As a matter of fact, I've been very fortunate and blessed. I cannot remember the last time I could not fall asleep. Praise God and thank Him! I wish to love Him more and unto Him sufficieth.

Say: God sufficeth all things above all things, and nothing in the heavens or in the earth but God sufficeth.  Verily, He is in Himself the Knower, the Sustainer, the Omnipotent.

Padas River White Water Rafting

I managed to squeeze in a day trip to Padas River white water rafting during my trip to Kota Kinabalu end of last August. According to my research, Padas River is supposed to be the most exciting water rafting place for tourist in KK. The water rafting was fun but the excitement was not comparable to the one I had back in the Zambezi River in Zimbabwe.

However, the journey to Pangi village where we had the rafting, had been eventful. To get to Pangi village, it took me a couple of hours of car ride from KK town to Beaufort town. From Beaufort, I had to board another few hours of train ride to reach Pangi. The train ride was the more interesting train ride I have ever had in my life.

The diesel run train from Beaufort

A train stop along the journey

House along the railway track, the train would stop as and when needed for passengers to board or alight

Halogilat, the train station where we changed to a different train

Another diesel run train

I was extremely tempted to ask the train driver to let me drive the train with them

Just like the first one, the trains do not lock the doors

Simply scenic and breath-taking scenery

Little things that make me feel blessed

I was at the car park earlier and arranged some papers to be recycled. As I push the papers into the building which collects all recyclable items, my parking ticket fell from the stack of papers. I have mistaken mixed the parking ticket with the papers to be recycled.

Had the parking ticket gone into the building, I would have been fined for losing the ticket when I was supposed to be getting free parking. I must have gotten some divine help up there. More importantly, the feeling of getting blessed lasted and made my Sunday.

Donation

As an individual, there are many things we can donate; money, food and time etc. There are donations we should give when able to while others we should never give. I donate all sort of things to various organizations but stop giving to beggars a long time ago. Trust me, donating to beggars do more harm than good. Today, I want to talk about donating one of the most precious and meaningful thing we can donate, our blood.

As a child, Steve and his sister were hit head on by a drunk driver. They were both critically injured and needed countless amount of blood in order to survive the life-threatening crash. Steve managed to turn the tragedy to triumph but his sister was defeated by the devastating disaster. There was not enough the right type of blood for his sister.

We all know that donating blood can save lives. What about the effects to the donor? Donating blood is highly beneficial to the donor. Donating blood stimulates the production of new blood cells and refreshes the system. This makes us healthier. Moreover, donating blood is an easy avenue to burn extra calories. Donating a pint or 450 ml of blood burns 650 calories in a donor's body. In other words, donating 90% of liquid in this small bottle (500 ml bottle) is equivalent to jogging more than an hour on the treadmill. Isn't this such a terrific trade-off?

Allow me to share with you a typical experience of donating blood. The night before the donation day, I would always have a good, peaceful and sound sleep. Frequently, I have sweet dreams filled with beautiful and sexy nurses. On my way to the hospital, my heart would always be filled with joy, ecstasy and excitement as if I have a date with the beautiful and sexy nurse from my dream. In the hospital, I get free medical examinations where the doctor re-assures that I am as fit as a fiddle. During the donation, my blood flowed from my arm to the plastic bag. The short fifteen minutes felt like serenity of an eternity. Words cannot describe the tranquility I felt each time I donate blood.

I hope you are now convinced that blood donation is such an amazing and awesome act. Come join me in the exclusive blood donor club!

Short Stint with A Beagle Puppy

When Chin Hang asked me to adopt his Beagle puppy, I couldn't contain my excitement. I have been wanting to keep a dog in the house and excitedly waited for him to bring me the puppy.

On 6 July, he brought Fifi (name given the Chin Hang and his wife) over. It was the most adorable companion to have. According to Ching Hang, Fifi is of a champion breed.

It was fun to have Fifi around but soon I realized that raising a puppy Beagle is no easy feat. The commitment and time required for playing, potty training and obedience training is much more than I expected. It drained my energy and began to affect my emotional stability. The training required a lot of time and patience and I always felt insecure when Fifi went near the curtain (for some reason, she likes to take her dump there).

Funny that I felt insecure as I am a rather self-secured person. Never have I thought that a puppy pet would teach me the pain of insecurity but thanks to Fifi, I should be more sensitive towards people around me who are feeling insecure now.

 As she is teething, she would bite on anything and everything she could get hold of.

  

After some deliberation, I regrettably decided that I was in no position to provide what's needed to raise Fifi. I would never know if she was happy with me but certainly, I cannot give her the attention, love and care she needed. On 24 July, Fifi is given to another owner.

 

2013 Half Year Review

Just did my review for the first half of 2013. The results were devastating. Make me wonder what have I been doing for the past few months and the worst thing is that I thought I was doing good as I have always been busy.

I feel so depressed now...

Share...Care...Joy...

 

A lovely, meaningful and inspiring video...Awesome!

Our minds are like our gardens

While doing some gardening earlier, I realized our minds are like our gardens. If left unattended, various plants, greens and weeds will grow. To have a beautiful garden, we need to plant flowers, uproot unwanted weeds and look after it regularly.

Similarly, to have a healthy mind and live a happy life, we need plant positive thoughts, filter out the negative influences and take care of the company we are mixing with. In today's world we receive plenty of information daily. Some are good while others are really not good. Some are beneficial to us while others only do us harm. 

Just like the unwanted weeds which will inevitably grow in our gardens, we cannot help seeing large scale catastrophes happening around us or hearing small back biting talks among our peers. Just like the gardener's choice to uproot the weeds and water the flowers, we need to clear our heads from negativities and promote positive thinking.

 

Just like maintaining a beautiful garden, it takes effort to create a beautiful, positive and productive mind. I believe this effort is definitely worth spending on.

Another yummy, home cooked dinner. Looking at the color, one can only say I am a health conscious person.

Simple dinner

Thanks to the leftover marinated chicken and vegetables bought over the weekend, I brought myself to cook the last two nights. Have not been cooking for some time already but results were satisfactory.

Revision on The New Garden by Hushmand Fathea’zam

The purpose of our lives is to know God, our Creator and to worship God. Having established the fact that the purpose of our lives is to worship God, how do we know God? The answer is in recognizing the Manifestations of God. After knowing God is to love God with all our hearts and the love of God is the source of everlasting happiness. Then, the book talks about Oneness of Religion and Progressive Religion. This summarizes Chapter 1: God and His Religion.

Chapter 2 talks about Manifestations of God. This includes Krishna, Buddha, Moses, Zoroaster, Jesus Christ, Muhammad, The Bab and Baha’u’llah.

Chapter 3: The Covenant. 

Baha’u’llah was a Divine Architect and He drafted the magnificent Plan for the unity of mankind. When Baha’u’llah passed away, He appointed Abdu’l-Baha (Abdu’l-Baha means the servant of Baha) as the Centre of His Covenant. Abdu’l-Baha became the authorized interpreter of Baha’u’llah teachings and all Baha’is should turn to Abdu’l-Baha for guidance in matters concerning His teachings.

Abdu’l-Baha’s ministry lasted for about 30 years and appointed His grandson, Shoghi Effendi, as the Guardian of the Faith of God when He passed away. He taught the Baha’is of the world how to work together so as to establish the World Order of Baha’u’llah, and how to carry out the instructions of Abdu’l-Baha mentioned in His Tablets of Divine Plan. During Shoghi Effendi 36 years of guardianship, a Ten-Year Plan where all the Baha’is of the world were to work closely together in taking the Message of Baha’u’llah to the remaining islands and territories of the globe where the Baha’I faith had not yet been established. The end of the Ten-Year Plan in 1963 marked a full century had passed since Baha’u’llah proclaimed His Mission, and the Baha’is of the world elected the first International House of Justice – the Supreme Body which Abdu’l-Baha has assured us will be under the direct guidance of God and infallible in all its decisions.

Chapter 4 shows Some of the Teachings and Principles

• Oneness of Mankind – All human beings are children of one God
• Removal of Prejudice – All forms of prejudice must be forgotten, whether it is national, racial or religious prejudice
• Search After Truth – Baha’u’llah teaches the Truth is one and we must search after the truth for ourselves
• Universal Language
• Equality Between Men and Women – God look to the heart and character of a person and not the sex
• Universal Education – Every child must receive education and the education of children is a sacred task. Education must free us from superstitions and prejudices and also from the clutches of materialism
• Religion and Science Must Work Together – Science has provided tools for people who use them as weapons because they have no religion to teach them how to make the best use of these tools. On the other hand, religion without science will become nothing but ignorance and superstition. True religion is in agreement with true science
• Extremes of Wealth and Poverty Must End – The right of every human being to the daily bread whereby they exist, or the equalisation of the means of livelihood. Baha’is are encouraged to make every effort towards material as well as spiritual advancement but true wealth for a Baha’i is the love of God in his heart
• Happiness – We are joyful because the love of God is within us and we know the meaning and purpose of our short lives on this earth
• Immortality – Death is not the end but a beginning. It is a spiritual rebirth
• Heaven and Hell – Reward and punishment. Heaven is nearness to God while hell is being deprived of this bounty
• Moral and Ethical Teachings – Foundation of all religions is one. Baha’u’llah teaches very high standard of ethics and personal conduct.

Chapter 5 is Administration

The Baha’i Faith is a religion without priest. Baha’u’llah called upon every one of us to search after Truth for ourselves. Every Baha’i has to pray for himself. Instead of having priests, Baha’u’llah laid down foundation of a wonderful system of Administration through which we can work together for the progress of the Faith and the spiritual welfare of the community.

Baha’i administration consists of Local Spiritual Assembly which are elected by the Baha’is of villages or towns, National Spiritual Assemblies elected by the Baha’is of the countries, and the Universal House of Justice, elected by all the Baha’is of the world through their national assemblies.

Election of a Spiritual Assembly

• Every place with more than nine Baha’is adults must elect a Spiritual Assembly to serve the local community to which it belongs
• Assembly can only be elected on the 21^st of April which is the anniversary of the Declaration of Baha’u’llah
• Every voter must write down the names of the nine persons whom he or she considers more worthy for being elected on the Spiritual Assembly
• Baha’u’llah has forbidden us to nominate any individual or try to draw attention to any special person before or during the election
• The nine Baha’is who have the most votes are elected as members of the Local Spiritual Assembly for that year

The duties of a Local Spiritual Assembly include:

• Guarding the interests of the Baha’is in that locality
• Helping Baha’is teach the Cause of God
• Promoting amity and love among believers
• Having a fund to be utilized for the interests of the Cause and the community
• Educating Baha’i children and youth
• Undertaking the arrangement of the regular meetings of the friends, feasts and anniversaries

Some important points about the Baha’i administration include:

1. Obedience to all the decisions of the Assembly
2. If we feel that the Local Assembly decision is not right, we must first obey and then appeal to the National Spiritual Assembly to re-consider the decision of Local Assembly
3. The unity of the community is safeguarded only if we lend our complete support to the institutions of the Cause regardless of their members
4. No one can resign from a Spiritual Assembly unless good reasons such as continuous bad health or changed residence
5. We can take our problems to the Spiritual Assembly and consult them
6. The Local Spiritual Assembly is responsible to God and in administrative matters to the National Spiritual Assembly
7. All Baha’is are equal including those elected on to the Spiritual Assembly

Chapter 6 dictates some of the Laws and Obligations

• Cleanliness – keeping ourselves, our clothes and our homes clean is very important for the Baha’is.
• Prayer – Prayer is conversation with God. Prayer is the food of the soul and it is compulsory in Baha’i Faith. Prayers are to be recited every morning and evening. In addition, there are three compulsory prayers to be recited daily; long Obligatory Prayer, medium Obligatory Prayer and short Obligatory Prayer. Baha’is are free to choose any one of the three.
• Fasting – With the beginning of the 19^th month (Mar 2 -21), the month of Loftiness (Ala), the period of fasting begins. Throughout the 19 days of fasting,  Baha’is do not eat or drink anything from sunrise to sunset.
• Work is Worship – Everybody should work. To serve mankind and to minister the needs of the people is worship.
• Teaching the Cause of God – A Baha’i’s duty is to study the Cause, practise its Teachings and spread its Message.
• Alcoholic Drinks are Prohibited – Baha’is must strive to keep their minds and souls as healthy as possible.
• Observing the Holy Days – Nine holy days throughout the year which Baha’is should not work.

                         i.            March 21             Feast of Naw-Ruz (New Year)

                        ii.            April 21               First day of Ridvan – Declaration of Baha’u’llah (1863) at 3 pm

                       iii.            April 29               Ninth day of Ridvan

                       iv.            May 2                 Twelfth day of RIdvan

                        v.            May 23                Declaration of the Bab (1844)

                       vi.            May 29                Ascension of Baha’u’llah (1892) at 3 am

                      vii.            July 9                   Martyrdom of the Bab (1850) at about noon

                     viii.            October 20          Birthday of the Bab (1819)

                        ix.            November 12      Birthday of Baha’u’llah (1817)

• Marriage – There is no monastic life in Baha’i Faith.  The necessary requirements for a Baha’i marriage are: (1) the man and woman must consent to marry one another and (2) Parents of the bride and bridegroom, if alive, must give consent to the marriage.
• Loyalty to Government – A Baha’i cannot be faithful to his religion if he is not faithful to his government. The Baha’i Faith has nothing to do with politics and Baha’is cannot participate in any party politics whatsoever. The best way for a Baha’i to serve his country and the world is to work for the establishment of Baha’u’llah’s World Order, which will gradually unite all men and do away with divisive political systems and religious creeds.
• How One Becomes a Baha’i – It is to have conviction in the Oneness of God, oneness of religion ad oneness of mankind; to realise that religion is progressive and continuous and is for the sake of unity rather than disunity. The man who lives the life according to the teachings of Baha’u’llah is already a Baha’i.