During lunch earlier today, the uncle who took my order put an ash tray in front of me on my table. These were my thoughts that follow:

1) Do I have a smoker face painted on me? (being defensive)
2) Maybe he assumes people who enjoy black coffee also enjoy smoking. (intellectualizing)
3) Perhaps it's just good customer service just in case I smoke. (positive thinking)
4) Most likely he just did it on a whim.
5) Later in the evening, I definitely think too much.

On a separate note, this is a video on TED by Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability to share. I enjoy this video and find the word 'vulnerability' fascinating. To me, vulnerability has a negative connotation and implies helplessness. I would prefer the word 'surrender', borrowed from The Steps of Surrendering by bestselling writer Deepak Chopra. If I understand Brene correctly, to be vulnerable is to surrender. However, to surrender, we need not be vulnerable.

Jacky Cheung - 只想一生跟你走 Everlasting Love

While rummaging for songs in You Tube, I came across the songs by my favourite Hong Kong singer-songwriter and actor Jacky Cheung. His voice and songs are timeless classics.

Like the title of his hit song below, Jacky Cheung is indeed everlasting.

Jacky Cheung - 只想一生跟你走 Everlasting Love

For a cocoa pod like myself; yellow on the outside but brown on the inside (I am a Malaysian Chinese who cannot read Chinese), I am thankful for the lyrics and translation found in this blog.

Kuala Lumpur City Gallery

Was early to the library today and ended up being a tourist in the Kuala Lumpur City Gallery instead.

The gallery does not have much yet but the souvenir shop there called ARCH was an intriguing one. ARCH creates unique gifts and collectibles based on the theme of "One City, One Heritage" and the art pieces are made from wood veneer acquired from sustainable sources. Being someone who prefer products made from wood and glass to the other materials, I find the shop such a fascinating discovery. More info about ARCH can be found on ARCH Collection.

Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership

Read something really interesting from John C. Maxwell's book, Becoming A Person of Influence. Its something called "Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership" and here is what it says:

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered - love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives - do good anyway.

If you're successful, you'll win false friends and true enemies - succeed anyway.

The good you do today will perhaps be forgotten tomorrow - do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable - be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest man with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest man with the smallest mind - think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only hot dogs - fight for the few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight - build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you help them - help them anyway.

Give the world the best that you have and you will get kicked in the teeth - give the world the best that you have anyway.

If better is possible, then good is not enough.

On a separate note, I managed to add another run medal to my collection. It was from the 10km Xtrail Run held last Sun, 30 Sept 2012. Thought the 10km would be a piece of cake after running a half marathon but I took an hour and 20 minutes to complete the run. On top of that, I almost fell sick later yesterday out of fatigue and the heat. Fortunately, all is cool. The run was also quite a different experience; running in the mud with country side scenery and smells like grass and cow dung.

My Hat's Off to Jon Meade Huntsman

I learned about Jon M. Huntsman from the book I picked up by chance from the National Library. It is the book written by the billionaire himself, Winners Never Cheat: Everyday Values We Learned as Children (But May Have Forgotten).

In my opinion, some of the points illustrated regarding honesty and playing by the rules are on the extreme ends but as an individual, he is truly remarkable. Not only the sum of his donation was humongous (more than $1.2 billion), he had taken out bank loans to meet his philanthropic pledges in bad economic times. I can comprehend if a man dies broke by giving his money away to various charities but cannot help wondering what went through his mind to borrow money from someone just to give away to others. Simply amazing.

A brief info about Jon Huntsman can be found on Wikipedia. It is inspiring to learn that such a man exist in the world.

The Courage to Make Mistakes

Courage was never a value I learn from young. The same goes for making mistakes. In school, I was taught to get the right answers and score in exams. Making mistakes was not valued.

Ironically, to get the right answers, sometimes we need to know the wrong ones. How do we know what is right and what is wrong? As they say, good judgments come from experience and experience comes from bad judgments. We can always learn from other people's experience but its never the same experiencing ourselves. Just because everybody says something is not right doesn't mean it is definitely not right. For example, back in those days, people used to think that Earth is the center of the universe. Today, we know that our Mother Earth revolves round the sun.

Curiosity is alluring and I want to remain a curious cat who keep questioning. Of course, there's also a saying that goes, "Curiosity kills the cat". So, I pray for courage. I pray for courage so that I shall walk a path less traveled by. In other words, dare to be different and do what others are not willing to do. I also pray for courage to speak my mind and do what I believe is right. The latter has proven to be much more challenging.

Well, what that's worth doing is worth doing after all. If I make mistakes, I wish for people around me to open my eyes and the wisdom to learn from the mistakes. So, I hope not to be perfect but for courage to make mistakes and learn from them. 

Taiping International Marathon

Sept 16 2012 was the second time they organized the Taiping International Marathon. I used to cycle around town and the outskirts back in high school but would not have run in my beloved home town had it not for the marathon this morning.

It was my first half marathon. Could not run any more for the last 5 kilometres but I am proud to complete the run within 2 hours and 42 minutes. Not too shabby eh? :)

Winner Never Cheats?

Started reading the book, Winner Never Cheat by Jon M. Huntsman. The title itself is intriguing and the fact that the book is written by a self-made billionaire makes it a must read for me.

There is an except which elicited my attention. Huntsman was telling a story when he was 10 years old and making about 50 cents a day selling and delivering the local newspaper.

"I entered the store while on my route one day and no one seemed to be around. Ice cream sandwiches had just come on the market. It was hot and I wanted to try one. I reached inside the small freezer and grabbed an ice cream bar. I slipped the wrapped sandwich into my pocket. Moments later, Mrs. Edwards appeared, asking if she could me.

"No, thanks," I answered politely and headed for the door. Just before it slammed shut, I heard her say, "Jon, are you going to pay for that ice cream sandwich?" Embarrassed, I turned around and sheepishly walked back to the freezer where my slightly shaking hand returned the ice cream sandwich to its rightful place, Mrs. Edwards never said another word."

I like this except because I can related to a past experience back when 8 or 9. Back then, I was observing the class teacher asking for the owners of the stationery dropped and found in the class. The stationery found were never mine and the younger me thought to myself, "Do those stuff really belong to people who raised their hands?"

The simple-minded me decided to give a try on a decent looking plastic ruler and raised my hand. Obviously, the rightful owner also raised his hand and challenged that my ruler is a wooden one. I felt embarrassed. Couldn't remember how I found my way out but it was a priceless lesson learned.

Moral of the story is, it is wrong to take that which doesn't belong to us.

An unlucky day?

It was only last night I was talking about positive thinking and attitudes, today I was challenged.

I could not handle an easy negotiation properly, lost out in a competition even though I had an advantage and broke my car window. Everything seems to go wrong. Tough luck, isn't it?

Its easy to blame luck when things are not going smoothly but come on, let's face the truth. I couldn't handle the negotiation properly because of lack of skill. I lost out in a competition because I lack competence or maybe I didn't work hard enough. I broke my car window because of negligence. So, who is to blame?

The questions I am more interested to answer are how can I turn this around, what can I learn from what happened today and what should I do so that the defeat today will pave the road to my victory tomorrow. By the way, I do not believe in luck. Its simply not logical to believe in luck when I believe in God and myself.

Special thanks to Nim for kindly allowing me to keep the car in his house.

The Winning Attitude

Just finish reading the book, The Winning Attitude by John C. Maxwell. The Winning Attitude is good but the other 2 books I read from John Maxwell, Failing Forward and The 360 Degree Leader, are much more interesting. Failing Forward was extremely relevant when I read it for the second time out of boredom 2-3 months ago.

I remember an ex-boss saying the problem with me is that I have mental block. Coming from an engineering background, my brain is developed to solve problems. So I cannot help being critical and seeing problems, big or small, all the time and trying to solve them. Although a competent problem solver, occasionally I do not get immediate solutions to problems I see. This caused me to have mental block and limit my potential. Fortunately, I am a competent problem solver and the problem with mental block is quite easy to solve.

Today, being a salesman, I constantly train myself to see beyond the problems I see and look for opportunities instead. Positive thinking and commendable attitudes are essential. Therefore, in life there is no problem. Rather, there are challenges and where there are challenges, there are opportunities. Its really up to us to seize the opportunities. Quoting Louis Pasteur, "Fortune favors the prepared mind".

Beg, Borrow and Steal

To beg and borrow is nothing uncommon for me. I thought that I would and should never resort to stealing but I was so dead wrong.

Now that I think about it, I should have been stealing all the time and anywhere possible. If I am capable of stealing, I may not need to beg or borrow after all. Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about stealing tangibles stuff or anything which may harm others.

The one thing I want to steal is people's heart. Don't you agree that we should be stealing whenever possible?

Does Art Make People Nicer?

Came across this article of titled above, http://www.care2.com/greenliving/does-art-make-people-nicer.html

My opinion is art makes people more cultured and cultured people are somewhat nice. Coming from a science background, I used to take art for granted. Guess what? Without art, most of the world's greatest inventions would not be possible.

So, balance between art and science is essential. Today I would say, art without science is tawdry while science without art is shoddy.

The Weekend with Deborah

Who is Deborah? She is the trainer for the seminar, "Find Your Million Dollar Voice".

Learned quite a few interesting things during the weekend. Among the notable ones include:

1) Putting certain behaviors and burdens behind me. Fear of criticism and embarrassment is now a history.

2) God usually answers one of the following:

• Yes
• Not Yet
• Something better ahead

3) See love, Be love. This helps with eye contact and bonding with others.

Overall, the course has value but the effectiveness of the course could not be measured yet. Soon enough I will know. The following 2 videos are my 3-minute presentation and current capability. Looking forward for more improvements and greater performances in the future.

William Shakespeare - Sonnet 116

Colors of the Wind

A Time with Dad

Dad was with me as we travelled to a place called Gerik in Perak. Went there to check out a piece of petrol station land and a new development by a developer friend.

Dad and I both are not very good with expressing ourselves. Dad has always been supportive, gives my sisters and I all the best and I always get things done my way whether he likes them or not. It's a shame we seldom have conversations and rarely talk about things that matters. As a result, I never know what's going in his mind or what he is feeling.

Lately, dad seems a lot more negative, nagging and worrying continuously. I feel that it was mainly because of me and therefore I took this rare opportunity to inquire. Mentioned that he seems a little troubled and asked what's troubling him. Couldn't read his expressions and body language as I was driving but the answer he gave felt a little like beating around the bush.

He denied being unhappy and complained about too much time being spent on the game he, mum, aunt and a family friend have been playing. Being a pensioner, I don't see why he's complaining that. Don't feel comfortable probing further and didn't dwell on.

My first Sketch

I never enjoy drawing or painting since childhood but today I signed up for an art class and drew my first sketch. Asked myself why I dislike drawing and the answers are:
1) there were more interesting things to do such as playing video and computer games;
2) I suck at drawing; and
3) poor attention span.

Why did I sign up for an art class then? The answers are:
1) drawing seems interesting now that I kinda stop playing video and computer games and don't have better things to do;
2) I hope improve my visual acuity and attention to details through drawing; and
3) I would love to be able put my vision on paper in the future.

 

Saturday - Then and Today

Here I am lying on my bed in front of my computer. My mind keeps telling my body to work but my body just wanna laze around wasting priceless time.

The me a few years back would most likely be playing computer games at this hour of the day. I used to spend more than 6 hours playing computer games back in school. Then, I tried to cut down the time of playing games thinking that if I was to spend those hours doing something more beneficial or productive, my life would have been so much meaningful. In university, the habit stayed. Partly it was because playing computer games is one of the cheapest entertainment. However, I could have used the playing time to work part time instead.

In all honesty, I don't think that playing games was not a total waste of time. After all, it keeps my mind active since young. Other than that, I co-founded my university's Gaming Club. Till today, I am in the email loop and receiving emails from the current members. Back then, it was nothing proud to have started a gaming club but now I feel that, unexpectedly, I have left a legacy behind. Twenty plus years down the road, if I can send my kids to the same university, I'm sure I will be proud to tell them that their father started the gaming club there.

Today, I have sort of given up on playing computer games but everyday I still play games on my tablet. Occasionally, I would play board games with the usual gang. I am glad that I have been reading more frequently nowadays and I would love to have a habit of writing and speaking as well.

Dreamers and Doers

"The world needs dreamers and doers but above all, dreamers who do" Sarah Ban Breathnach

I am a dreamer. I want to be a doer. Hopefully, I shall be a dreamer who do.

Pressure & Tension

Read an interesting excerpt on this title:

"The quality of a guitar's sound is influenced by the weight and tension of its string. As a musician plucks the strings, the soundboard amplifies the otherwise faint sound, adds a unique quality, and allows it to carry much further than would otherwise be possible.

The same can be true for you. Pressure and tension are guaranteed. Depending on the character you have built in your life, pressure will cause you to either 'snap' or to respond with the graceful tone of a carefully crafted guitar. Wherever you go, challenges will occur.

Will tension and pressure cause you to 'snap', or will you respond with the melodious tone of a guitar?"

I like how this excerpt makes the analogy between the tension we face and that of a guitar string. As we all know, if the strings are too slack, no beautiful music can be produced. Contrary, if the strings are too tense or we pluck them with too much pressure, they will break.

Similarly, if we are too slack, we are unlikely to produce great results where else if we are too tense, or if there is too much pressure, our brains cannot function properly and we risk falling into a nervous breakdown. While it is easy to tune the guitar strings to produce the sound we want, how do we tune ourselves so that the tension and pressure we get is just right for optimum productivity?

A random night

Last night, I received a phone call from mum and she sounded in distress. Somebody called my neighbor to ask about my house when nobody was at home and the caller was unknown. Told mum to be careful in case some burglars trying to find info before breaking in.

Later, I read about an article regarding a robbery case which happened outside a house two nights ago. While such cases are not uncommon, I suddenly got extra worried for a friend's safety after not hearing a message reply after some time.

To keep a long story short, what happened was my neighbor made a mistake and no one was asking about my house and my friend was doing something without the phone.

What's interesting was the physiological changes which took place. First, I linked two totally unrelated scenario and had very negative thoughts for both. Then, I started to scare myself and as the fear snowballed, I started to question, "what if this, what if that?" Minutes later, my body started trembling, I had difficulty breathing and felt like puking.

It was a different fear compared to what I usually feel before cold calling or public speaking. There were more anxiousness and fear of rejection and/or criticism from the latter. It was a different fear compared to when I barely missed a car accident. The feeling I had was most similar to what I felt during an occasion two years ago when I was scolded by boss for not listening and not doing what I was supposed to do. There was fear and other feelings which I am not able to articulate.

Two questions. What emotions did I feel and how to I deal with such emotions if it arises again in the future?

Normally, I would use the preventive method, which is to stop the worrying from building by shifting my thoughts to a more positive perspective. For example, by considering that the person who was asking for my house might be a friend or relative who happens to have my neighbor's number. Then, calmly find out what exactly happened.

While prevention is better than cure, what if the emotional flooding could not be prevented? How then do I gain composure and address such situations in a more effective manner?

The Maiden Blog

It seems that I have been struggling to write my first entry...I shall just rattle off whatever that comes to my mind just to kick start writing.

Its high time I start writing about my life and since I want to minimize usage of Facebook for personal life, blogging seems like the next best option.

Wondering if this blog will ever withstand the test of time? Funny how it was created several years ago and I have not been able to get myself to write.

Well, I shall take it slowly, treat it like a diary and diligently keep track of my life.